Goodbye Freddie
by pearlchavez
Summary: Effy finds out the truth about Freddie's disappearance. This is how I think season 4 should have ended...


Effy remained in Freddie's hut after everyone had left. In the past few hours, she had witnessed all of her friends receive their happy or sad endings. At least they had gained some kind of closure to the problems that had plagued them that year. Panda and Thomas had renewed their romance learning that they both had an opportunity to start again in America. Emily and Naomi planned to renew their love in Goa in the summer and promised to send her lots of photographs. It had worked out for everyone; even JJ had found love with the mysterious Lara.

Everyone had closure, except Effy Stonem. Freddie was gone, and she had no idea why. She had thought about every possible scenario, but it didn't make sense. Why had he left? She had assured him of her love for him and she had gone to sleep sure that he promised to stay by her side. She knew he was scared. She knew that it brought back memories of his own Mother's condition, but she didn't think he would really leave.

Their love had been strange, but perfect at the same time. She had loved him from the moment they set eyes on each other, but she didn't know it. She met Cook, and then proceeded to fuck everything up. He loved her too and everyone knew it. Sometimes she wished she loved him, it would have been so much easier for the both of them. Her Mum said that they were like Sid and Nancy, and she was right; they both destroyed each other. Freddie was the breath of fresh air that brought her back to life. She was sure that everyone had abandoned her, but her feelings for him convinced her to return from France.

Why did he leave?

She had never loved someone so intensely, the way she loved him. She was addicted to every part about him and after reading his notebook; she was assured that he reciprocated the feelings. She wished she had never fallen asleep, because then he would have had to stay. Did he not believe her?

"Eff?" She gasped when she heard his voice. He had been speaking to her all week; he was constantly in her mind and no matter how much she did, she couldn't distract herself long enough for him to disappear. It terrified her, but at the same time, she craved it. She listened to his voicemail message everyday, and often more than once. It made her smile, because she could hear herself laughing in the background. It had been better then, and she longed to wake up and be back in his arms, where she was so used to staying.

Effy was forced to open her eyes when she heard the door open again. She looked up to see Cook covered in blood, and clutching a trainer. Her heart began racing, but for some strange reason, she wasn't surprised. Cook had stopped surprising her a long time ago: it was the trainer he was carrying, it looked so familiar.

"What the fuck have you done?" She asked him sternly.

"Where is everyone?" He asked her breathlessly, wiping the remaining traces of blood from his face. "Don't tell me they've all fucking left? Even JJ?"

"Yes they've all gone," she told him. "Now, will you tell me what the fuck's happened?"

"I'm going to have to phone someone, fucking cunts; not even saying goodbye to me," he shook his head, but he looked at her worriedly. It was a look everyone had thrown in her direction; no one told her anything because of her fragile state of mind. She hated it.

"Cook, I want to know," she told him softly. "I'm not a fucking mental case."

"I know Eff," he nodded, sighing heavily. He sat down next to her, and the stench almost made her sick. Something serious had happened, and she had to know. Everything about the trainer he carried reminded her of someone. Couldn't he have brought something more memorable from his travels? "But it makes me fucking sick just to talk about it. I don't want to hurt you."

"It's Freddie, isn't it?" She asked him. It was the only thing that he would shield from her. That was the thing about Cook; he trusted her with almost everything except the thing that would hurt her most. "You know where he is, don't you?"

"Yeah," he replied. She could tell that he wanted to deny it. Effy didn't think, she grasped his bloody hand and squeezed it with her own, ignoring the fact that her hands with sticky with someone else's blood. "Eff, he's not coming back."

"I figured," she sighed. She didn't want to admit it, but she was desperately holding back her own tears, and she could see that Cook was doing the same thing. "What happened?"

Cook didn't say anything, instead he handed her the trainer that he'd been carrying. She examined it thoroughly, trying to work out where she'd seen it before. And then she saw his name. He marked everything that was his, how could she forget? Looking at his handwriting made her eyes water and she felt a sob escape her lips. Cook put his arm around her, as she realised the inevitable truth. The blood on the trainer was different. The blood on the trainer had dried in.

"He's dead, isn't he?" She asked, sounding like a child. It was the worst possible scenario, but with her luck, it was most probably the truth. Cook's silence only determined that fact. "Who did it?"

"Your fucking doctor," he replied, and when she looked at him, there was so much hate in his eyes. It was John? Effy immediately felt sickened, and felt herself vomit down the side of the couch, ensuring that the trainer remained untouched. Cook held her hair back and patted her back. She had let that man touch her just hours earlier, and he'd killed Freddie. Freddie's blood was on his hands. She had trusted the man who had hurt her most. She felt guilty. It was all her fault.

"I knew he didn't like Freddie," she said, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"He was fucking obsessed with you," he told her. "He was the mental case Eff."

"Did you make him suffer?" She asked. It was all she could hope for. She felt disgusted with herself for trusting him and tempted to join Freddie wherever he was. She loved him. She didn't know how she was going to live without him. Life would have to continue, but it was going to be empty without him. All Effy could hope for, was that John Foster had suffered, just like she would suffer the rest of her life.

"I beat him to death with the same bat he killed Freddie with," Cook replied, and she smiled. "Put it this way Eff, the bat still reeks of his shit after what I did to him."

"Good," she replied, leaning onto him, ignoring the blood that was seeping its way onto her clothes and her skin. "You've never let me down, do you know that?"

"I loved him too Eff," he told her, stroking her hair. "Of course I was going to kill his fucking murderer."

"What will you do now?" She asked him, kissing his cheek.

"God knows, I'll have to hide out here I reckon," he shrugged his shoulders. "What about you Eff? Where the fuck do you plan on going?"

"I have no idea," she replied, shrugging her shoulders. "I like it that way."

They talked about Freddie all night, and then buried his trainer in the garden. It was the only way they could think to say goodbye to him. And then they left.


End file.
